Looking back in order to forward
This passage was one of the first posts I made after finishing up my paddle up the inside passage. I felt it was relevant now because it reflects the anxiety that I had, trying to reintroduce myself into civilization after essentially living in the wild for 6 months. Reentry was an assault on my senses, my emotions, and my physical well being. Having come to be one (sounds corny, trust me it isn’t) with nature and the rhythms of the Universe, I felt completely off balance and un centered. That feeling has only grown over the last few years, except for when I take the time to go put myself in the middle of Mother Nature, for days or weeks on end, reacquainting my inner self with its truest form. I always come out better off, and more in tune with who I actually am and what really matters. Peace, G-
I have been off the water now for about a week. The first several days of my exit were spent in the suburbs of Seattle. Warm, friendly, woods, water, fall, winds, chill, water, all things that come to mind when I think of those few days. They were nice and slow, giving me an opportunity to begin some level of readjustment from life on the water, alone with nature for 147 days. See, even the suburbs of Seattle carried a sense of warmth that permeates that entire area. A certain level of slowness and peacefulness with nature. People willing to help a perfect stranger get done what was needed.
I left Seattle 3 days ago via air for the busy city of Chicago, wow, what an adjustment. People, cars, noise, more people, TSA, lines, waiting for things versus waiting for nothing, new friends, anxiety, anticipation, all sending the senses into overload. Re-uniting with family is beautiful but bound by small mine fields. Expectations flowing both ways; change occurring both ways; a constant dance all amidst an environment not conducive to peace. Breathing is interpreted as sighs; Silence for issues; The list goes on... It is all good but perhaps requires a 24K topo map of it's own
People are busy, rushing by. Cars go fast, coffee shops are loud. Dog parks replace the wild. Trees are in concrete boxes, flowers in pots. Cement replaces sand and trains replace the shrieks of the Ravens. Where are the birds and the otters and the seals and the whales and the gulls and the .....
Challenging to say the least, finding center is difficult. The wild allows you to sit, it encourages your silence. You are rewarded for being one with the moment in the bliss that surrounds you. I do believe that these things can exist in the city, but it requires work and effort. In the wild, it just arrives if you are open to it. The simplicity of the paddle, the serenity of the water, the stillness of the air and the ebb of tides. All serve to reinforce the openness and one-ness that exists amongst all of us.
There are those that say it still arrives in the city if you are just open to it. I believe this, but the challenge is great. You spend so much time in the wild and you come back to the chaos and you can see why people are so stressed, you can breath in the negative energy. Why smiles on the street are returned with down turned heads or an ever so slight recognition.
Beautiful time with my amazing daughter. I am so proud of her and her accomplishments. She is an amazing woman, I am so proud of her it brings tears to my eyes. I will spend a few more days here, searching for center, relishing time with her, then on to other family and new challenges. Lake Michigan tomorrow with friends, and then on to warm southerly waters for a bit.
The water calls, I hear my paddles vibrating. My boat soon to arrive, I look forward to time on the water.
Peace & Love,
G-
