Why Share
I have a voice, with things to share and a burning desire to share them. I think I have always had this but it really came to life when I paddled to Alaska and I found that inner voice and began to openly share with the world. One could argue that my pursuit of photography was the early form of sharing my voice. It offered me a chance to visually share what I saw in the world as well as what I felt. I truly believe that for me, what I photograph at any given time is a mirror into how I am emotionally feeling. When I am at my lowest emotional level, they sharing stops and the internal anxiety becomes tangible. It is this really crazy sensation that builds within. I guess it is the ebb and flow of the creative juices. At the age of 60, I still struggle with understanding these emotions.
Sitting here pondering the question of ‘Why’, I have no real tangible answers other than to know that the desire to share is real. The desire to speak, through some medium, is as real as the air I breathe. My pursuit of hobbies and of things creates an intense desire to learn and master and then this emotional need to share that journey. I don’t know why, but it is real, and I guess, at this point in my life, I may be just content to stop asking why and instead to just lean into it and do. It reminds me of that book I read in Alaska, one that really influenced me at the time, and it was so much about leaning into the things that caused me discomfort.
While that sounds easy, I think we are taught from an early age to run from discomfort. We seek as humans often seek out the path of least resistance, especially with regards to anything emotional. I know for me that was true until Alaska. Alaska taught me to dig deep into myself and all of the discomfort that was rummaging around my internal self. It opened locked doors that I know longer knew existed. In the past 15 years, I have slowly been closing those doors, once again forgetting that they exist. I can’t go hide in the woods for 6 months to find them right now, so I am hoping that this journey is a different mechanism to rediscovering them. Like before, I want, for whatever reason, to share this journey of discovery with others.